When hurt runs deep...

I’m currently in this group that is supposed to challenge those who love to write to do so more often. It’s always a goal of mine to write and keep writing, but life often gets in the way and makes me busier that I would like to be. So I thought this group might be great motivation to help me stay in the habit of writing regularly, both on this blog and in my journal.

This week’s assignment was to create a piece of writing that uses an analogy. I absolutely love analogies, stories and word pictures. I love when I see or hear something that allows me to think about something else in a new light. I usually end up reflecting on it for quite awhile.  Yet, this week, try as I might, I could not think of any analogies to write about. It reminded me of how I would often tell B how funny he was and to say something that would make me laugh, and he would respond that he can’t just say anything funny right on the spot or it would come out sounding really dumb. :)

Sometimes life just seems what it is at the moment – hard, monotonous, and exhausting. Even though I know that there’s so much more to it than that, and that each day of my life is just a small thread in a beautiful tapestry that I believe God is creating, it’s just hard to see the bigger picture some days. I think that’s why I had a hard time coming up with an analogy to write on last week. It was one of those tedious tiring weeks where I had to be so focused on the practical that I just didn’t have the space in my brain to reflect on cool analogies.

Breaking up kiddy arguments...
      Paying bills...
              Trying to lower a mountain of paperwork...
                     Looking at boxes I wish I could have unpacked by now...
And underneath it all, knowing that February was coming… bringing a possibly very depressing Valentine’s Day and the anniversary of B’s passing with it.

When you experience any kind of grief in life, especially one in your immediate family, it’s easy to live so burdened down sometimes. Yet, if you and I are not careful, we can get so lost in all of the “to dos” and forget about the healing that needs to occur in our hearts. We can stuff those feelings down, busying ourselves in our lists and trying to forget that inside we are aching from a deep deep loss. And sooner or later, if we don’t deal with it, we might just explode inside from the stuffing. That’s why it’s important to focus on how to let the Lord bring healing to our souls so we can move forward with hope.


I just finished reading an unbelievable book by Kay Arthur, called When the Hurt Runs Deep. In it, she shares several points to remember while hurting. Here are just a few of them that I loved and identify with:

1. If God has allowed pain in our lives, He has allowed it for a purpose – a good purpose, because He is a good God. I know that’s oh so hard to believe at the time. It’s a choice to believe that, sometimes every single moment. Some days I audibly must cry out to God and tell Him, “God, I choose to believe that You will bring about good from this. I choose to trust You even though it hurts and I don’t understand why.”

2. Because God is all-knowing, He knows the very source of your deepest pain – and He understands exactly how to heal it. I can look to other things to try to bring healing, but they won’t last or be enough. God knows my heart is breaking. He knows exactly how to heal my heart, and He will do it in His timing. Again – I must seek Him, and then trust.

3. Deep hurt can happen to upright, blameless people; it is not always deserved or earned.  We have to be careful who we listen to when we are hurting. We have to seek the Lord and confess any sin to Him. Then we can free ourselves to live in His desire for us, regardless of what anyone else thinks or feels called to share their opinions about. Read the examples of Joseph and Job in the Bible. They are both men who were walking in faithfulness with God, and both went through a lot of hurt and heartache. God redeemed and restored and brought beauty, but they had to stop listening to some of the voices around them and just seek the voice of the One they believed could rescue them in order to stay faithful through the hardships.

4. Deep, exhausting, unrelenting hurt can bring you to the end of yourself – to complete and total dependence on God – which is the best place you could ever be. I’ve seen this firsthand. Even just practically speaking, I’ve already had to do a lot of things that I don’t have the understanding of how to do. I’ve had to trust Him for pretty much everything. And He’s been faithful every time to provide or to give the skills I need that I sometimes didn’t know I possessed, or bring someone along who does have those skills. I’m dependent on Him, and He in turn makes me, the weak one, strong – but only through His strength alone.  And I truly feel it - I am held.

There’s so much more I could share, but you should get the book and read it for yourself. :) It will comfort and provide hope to you in the midst of any kind of hurt you are going through. It’s meant so much to me that I’m planning to blog again about another part of it – stay tuned!